


A World Without You

by MoonlightBreeze



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Has Feelings, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, Gen, Getting Back Together, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Good Sibling Isabelle Lightwood, I do give them the nice things, M/M, Magnus Bane & Clary Fray Friendship, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Angst, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood-centric, Post-Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Break Up, Slight Canon Divergence, Songfic, Tags Are Hard, Tumblr Prompt, no beta we die like men, they both get their hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24267448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightBreeze/pseuds/MoonlightBreeze
Summary: In two different places, the same song draws Alec and Magnus back together after the events of 2x20.Songfic based on Bones by JC Stewart ~ requested by an anon on Tumblr!
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751983
Comments: 10
Kudos: 79
Collections: Fluff vs. Angst Battle 2020





	A World Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! I have a few things sitting in my Docs waiting to be posted (if I can get the courage to - they aren't my favourites!) and a few others that are nearing finished that I figured would be my next things to post, but then I got my first prompt on Tumblr! A big thank-you to the anon who sent me this prompt: " _Hey! Do you think you could write a Malec fic to the song of "Bones" by JC Stewart?_ " 
> 
> So, this is the fic based off of that prompt! It's my very first songfic and my very first fic from a prompt, so I'm excited to bring it into the world. I don't honestly think it's that good, but hopefully you guys will like it, anyway! And yes, I did shamelessly take the title from a The Fault In Our Stars quote. 
> 
> With that, let's get into the story! Kudos make my day and comments validate my existence, so please feel free to leave those, if you want :) And as always, I hope you have a wonderful day/night!
> 
> ~ Em

The evening had dawned sunny and light before, so Alec didn’t quite understand why the clouds had slid over the moon and darkened until they resembled the colour of pitch above. He heard a distant rumble of thunder and knew he should head for the Institute if he didn’t want to get caught in the storm. He shoved his hands in his pockets and began to walk. His fingers struck something hard and he reached inside his pocket to pull out the device Clary had given him a month ago. 

An MP3 player, she had called it. 

It was supposed to hold songs, music that he could listen to whenever he wanted. She’d handed him a pair of headphones and informed him that she’d taken the liberty of adding a few of her favourites onto the MP3 player for him. 

Alec hesitated for only a second before he started the device and put the headphones in his ears. Maybe her music would give him something he didn’t know he needed. Maybe her music would be enough to calm his racing nerves and soothe the frayed edges of his heart.

Alec took a deep breath and scrolled through Clary’s list of songs until he reached one that captured his attention. It was called Bones. Perhaps the simplicity of the name, which left so much mystery to it still, was what drew him to it. Perhaps it was fate. Or perhaps it was just a chance of the universe, yet again playing tricks on him. 

Alec pressed play.

~ ~ ~

Back in the Hunter’s Moon, Magnus was on his fourth martini and even Luke, who was perhaps drunker than anyone else in the bar, was telling him that he should take a break. He decided to listen and placed his drink down on the bar. 

After all, alcohol could only do so much for him.

“Hey, Magnus!” 

Magnus turned to face Isabelle and Clary, who were standing over a beat-up jukebox by the pool table. His breath caught in his throat when he remembered how he and Alec had played at that very pool table, listening to a song he’d chosen on that very jukebox only a few short weeks ago. 

Magnus wanted, more than anything, to turn away and ignore them, but Isabelle and Clary were becoming insistent. He sighed, took a huge gulp of his martini, and wandered over to them. 

“What is it, my dears?” he asked heavily, with a long-suffering sigh that had Isabelle rolling her eyes. 

“We can’t decide between these two songs,” Clary said, pointing to two song choices displayed in gold on the jukebox. “Izzy thinks You Are The Reason, and I think Bones.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “And you need me why?”

“To help break the tie!” Isabelle said, leaving the ‘duh’ in her voice unsaid. 

“I don’t know either of those songs,” Magnus deadpanned. 

Clary rolled her eyes. “Yes, you do. I’ve heard you humming mine while you work when you come to the Institute to fix the wards. Don’t lie.”

Magnus sighed. “Fine, fine. Well, Isabelle, I’m sorry, but Clary is right; I do know her song. And it would be a shame for everyone to miss out on it.” He smirked at her. “You have good taste in music, biscuit.”

Isabelle groaned as Clary put Bones into the jukebox, shouting, “Thanks, Magnus!” and beaming gleefully.

Magnus shook his head in exasperation at the pair of them. “You’re welcome.”

He made his way back to the bar and was about to order his fifth drink of the night when the first chords of Bones began to play, and Magnus’s hand hesitated in midair.

~ ~ ~

_All we are are ghosts_

_Shadows at the most_

_Our fingertips are holding on_

_To something that we know is gone._

Alec shivered in the cool night air and pondered the merits of his bright idea to listen to music while he walked home - no, _not_ home. Home was the loft. The Institute hadn’t been home in a long time.

The notes of the song seemed to wrap themselves around his throat, and he had an overwhelming urge to take the device and throw it into the air. It would smash onto the pavement and he would never have to hear the godforsaken song that seemed to know exactly how he was feeling ever again.

Yet, something - maybe some hidden masochistic desire he wasn’t aware of - held him back. Something anchored the headphones to his ears, something made him touch the volume key twice more to turn it up. Something tethered him to the song, for better or for worse.

_You say that you need space to breathe_

_Well, maybe you need space from me._

_You know just what I need_

_You said you couldn’t give it to me._

The air had turned cold and chilly in the space of a minute or so, and Alec could see his breath. It made small white clouds in the night that hung in the darkness for a few moments before dissolving into wisps of nothing, like they were never even there. His heart clenched painfully when he thought of how similar it was to his relationship to Magnus. What they had was beautiful and precious and unique and like a live, burning light in a world full of darkness, until it no longer existed. Like the little clouds he had made, it had vanished into thin air between one breath and the next. 

Alec guessed it must be true, what they say: nothing gold _can_ stay.

Alec’s eyes burned with an insistent urge to cry, and he chided himself for being so ridiculous. He had no right being so affected by a _song_ , for fuck’s sake. 

His heart was heavy as he continued trudging his way, alone, towards the Institute.

~ ~ ~

Magnus took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. He’d heard this song before; it was nothing new. 

So why, _why_ was he letting it affect him this way?

_What you say, what you say_

_Say what you mean to say_

_‘Cause I won’t wait, no, I won’t wait_

_If you’re gonna walk away._

Magnus remembered a different time, a time when Alec was so afraid to take a chance and do something for himself, for once, that he pushed Magnus away from him with such force that Magnus almost relented. He remembered a time when he told Alec he wouldn’t offer again. He remembered walking into Alec’s wedding and giving him one more chance than he would have given anyone else. 

Magnus remembered it _vividly_.

Clary fixed him with a look, and he suddenly realised that he’d been staring into space for longer than it was appropriate to. He sent her a blinding smile back, to which she scoffed and picked up her phone. A second later, not to his surprise, he received a text.

_C: What is going on with you?_

_M: It’s nothing._

_C: It’s clearly something. I noticed Alec left early, too._

_M: I don’t want to talk about it._

_C: Fine, I won’t force you. But just consider this: I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people more in love with each other than you and Alec._

Magnus put his phone down and stared gloomily into the depths of his martini glass. He was centuries old. He’d lived through dozens of heartbreaks. This, however, felt different. 

Magnus didn’t think he’d ever felt so open, so _vulnerable_.

Somehow, Alexander had managed to tear down all of the walls he’d spent so long building around his heart in a matter of weeks.

And Magnus didn’t quite know what he was supposed to do with that.

~ ~ ~

_And down to our bones_

_I think we both know_

_I know we’re counting the cost_

_It’s better to have lost_

_Than never have loved at all._

Alec stumbled over a crack in the pavement and fell to his knees, breathing hard. Tears froze on his cheeks, though he barely noticed their presence, and his breath was coming in short, quick gasps. He ripped the headphones from his ears and shoved them, along with that fucking MP3 player, into his pocket. He cursed himself quietly, unable to reconcile his reaction to the song with his parents’ voices in his head, hissing at him that this was not how a Shadowhunter was supposed to act. 

Alec got to his feet and made his way over to the slate-grey stone wall adorning a nearby shop building. He leaned against it, allowing himself the small comfort of closing his eyes. 

The world was too dark for him. 

Without Magnus, it looked nightmarish and hopeless. 

Without Magnus, Alec didn’t know if he could believe the last two lyrics of the song. 

He didn’t regret Magnus; he could _never_ regret Magnus. 

But if this was what heartbreak felt like, Alec knew for a fact that he never wanted to experience it ever again. 

Alec opened his eyes and chanced a quick look around. He was fairly hidden by the shop; no one looked underneath the overhang far enough to see the young man covered in runes that stood there, shoulders shaking and hands twisting together in the midst of a thunderstorm that he hadn’t even noticed had begun.

He was alone.

Alec bit his lip and hesitated for only a second before he allowed the tears that had been threatening all night to escape.

~ ~ ~

_And down to our bones_

_I think we both know_

_I know we’re counting the cost_

_It’s better to have lost_

_Than never have loved at all._

A single tear made its way down Magnus’s cheek at the final lyrics of what was once one of his favourite songs. Now, it brought him nothing but pain and regret. His hands shook on the stem of his martini glass and he found himself wishing, suddenly and painfully, for Alexander.

A small voice in the back of Magnus’s mind reminded him that he was the one who had broken up with Alec, he was the one who had ruined everything. It was _him_ that needed to fix things if ever they had a chance of becoming an ‘us’ again. 

Clary cleared her throat next to him, and Magnus startled, turning to face her. She smiled sadly and put a hand on his arm. “Alec isn’t mad at you,” she said. 

“How could you possibly know that?” Magnus replied bitterly. 

Clary sent her thumb flying over her shoulder to point at Jace, who sipped a beer behind her, watching Magnus with barely-concealed protective anger in his eyes. Magnus raised a lazy eyebrow at him, trying to let Alexander’s parabatai know he wasn’t intimidated by his glare. 

“Alec isn’t angry,” Jace said, a hard edge to his voice. “Even though he has every right to be.” Clary elbowed him in the gut, and he grimaced and said, “I can feel his emotions through the bond.”

A small spark of hope bloomed in Magnus’s chest.

“He isn’t mad,” Jace continued. “He’s sad.”

Magnus’s eyes softened and he felt more tears rise to them. Clary made a soft sound of sympathy and wiped away the few that decided to fall with the pad of her thumb.

“He’s hurt,” Jace said. “He’s heartbroken.” He sounded less cold now and more sad, defeated. “But he isn’t angry.”

“Do you...do you think he would let me talk to him?” Magnus asked Alec’s parabatai. He was gripping the stem of his martini glass so tightly that Clary pulled it from his hands, setting it and his cocktail napkin, which he had begun to shred in his anxiety, away from him. 

“Maybe,” Jace answered. “In any case, if you _don’t_ go talk to him, I’m going to kick your ass into next week, warlock.”

Magnus ignored Jace’s comment and rose from his seat. He sent Clary a blinding smile and Jace a grateful glance, which was all he could manage through his guilt. “If you’ll both excuse me, I have some pressing matters to attend to.”

He found Isabelle by the jukebox again, debating between an old love song and something by Kesha. After directing her towards the Kesha song, he inquired about Alec’s whereabouts. Now that Jace had spoken to him, he finally felt like he might be able to right the grievous wrong that he had made. 

“He left early,” Isabelle replied. “Said he was going home, so he’s probably at the Institute.”

“Thank you,” Magnus grit out, his heart leaping with anticipation. 

“Of course,” Isabelle replied. Before he could turn away, she grasped his sleeve and said, “Alec’s been different these past few days - sadder, more withdrawn. He doesn’t smile anymore. Is everything okay between you two?”

Magnus felt guilt shoot through him like a lance and he winced. “Hopefully it will be by the end of tonight.”

“Are you going to - ”

Magnus was out the door before she could finish her sentence.

~ ~ ~ 

Alec felt a warm hand catch his arm in a vice-like grip, and he whirled around to face whoever had touched him. His breath caught in his throat when he recognised plum-painted fingernails and the silver ear cuff of the person he’d longed to see the most for the past few days. 

Magnus.

“W-What are you doing here?” Alec asked, hating himself for stuttering. He used his free hand to try and wipe away the worst of his tears, but Magnus reached up and brushed them away tenderly before he could do so. Alec couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the touch, exhaling shakily.

Before he knew what was happening, Magnus’s lips were on his and his hot breath was fanning over Alec’s cheeks and Alec felt himself beginning to warm from the inside out. Rain fell in jagged torrents around them, and lightning crackled overhead, but Alec and Magnus had eyes and ears only for each other. 

Alec closed his eyes and sank into the kiss, hoping against hope that it wouldn’t be the last one he would be allowed to receive. 

Magnus finally pulled away and said, “Does that answer your question?”

Alec felt a small smile overtake his face and he pulled Magnus into a crushing hug. 

“I love you,” he whispered against the warlock’s spiked hair. 

“I love you, too, Alexander,” Magnus whispered back. “I was a fool to believe I had to choose between you and the Downworld.”

“I don’t think I can live without you,” Alec admitted. His voice was muffled against the other man’s shoulder, but Magnus heard him well enough to warrant a sharp intake of breath. He pulled back just enough to see Alec’s face, to see the intensity of his cool blue eyes, to see the truth of his love’s statement. 

He didn’t know what to say to that - he knew it was a conversation for another time - so he paraphrased Alec, when they were first beginning their relationship. 

“I’ve heard that relationships take effort.”

Alec chuckled. “That’s an understatement.”

“You know what isn’t an understatement?” Magnus sidled closer until there were mere inches of space left between him and Alec. “This.”

Magnus felt more than heard it as Alec sighed into his mouth, the tension bleeding out of him, and he couldn’t contain the smile that broke out across his face. 

With Magnus’s lips on his own, standing off to the side of a crowded street in the middle of the night, Alec couldn’t help but think that if the universe gave him nothing else in his life, nothing else that he had yearned for and dreamed of, nothing else but Magnus, he would still be happy.

Alec was content to spend his forever on that street corner underneath the stormy sky as long as he was with Magnus.

**Author's Note:**

> [Stalk me on Tumblr](http://moonlight-breeze-44.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Prompts are open!
> 
> Want to embrace your inner chaotic fandom participant? Require somewhere to scream about Shadowhunters and other fandoms? Need writing advice, encouragement, or new friends? [Join our Discord server](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD) and find your place in a community of fandom-ers livin' it up! We welcome everyone, and we would love to have you. <3


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